The Ideal Idea

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The Ideal Idea
By Amanda Kabak • Issue #7 • View online

THE GRIND
As a writer, I’m impossible. Plenty of times I sit around sketching out scenes and characters that float around in the ether with nothing to tether them to an actual story. I do this for days or weeks and wonder if maybe I’ve had my last idea and no one’s told me yet. I’m ignorant of my predicament and doomed to write pages of words that won’t go anywhere no matter how hard I press pen to paper. But, then, just as I reach the height of (or depth of) despair, something strikes me. Suddenly, there’s a glimmer of possibility and excitement and, well, dread.
The dread goes a lot like this: inside my chest, a stillness wraps around a percolating core of maybe, and I think, “Oh shit. I think this might be a novel.”
Having an idea for a book sounds like a good thing, right? Especially if you’ve managed to write one before, but that last bit is a quadruple-edged sword. You read that right; two edges aren’t nearly enough, and aren’t most swords double-edged anyway? But back to the pen, which I’m not sure is, in fact, mightier than the sword, at least in any functional way. Unlike in the movies, having an idea for a book doesn’t lead directly to a productive montage that starts with fingers pounding at keys or wadded paper missing trash cans and ultimately ends with the victorious typing of the final letter (maybe the “d” in The End?) or a neat stack of printed pages. For me, having an idea goes something like this:
  1. Get excited and write a few pages of notes to convince myself that it could work (NOTE: I’m extremely gullible, so I pretty much think anything will work)
  2. Write a few more pages of notes, moving more slowly now, and realize that this idea isn’t enough to shore up an entire novel and that now I have to work out the rest of it
  3. Stare out the window in queasy apprehension, thinking about the last book I wrote (or maybe am still writing) and knowing that if I really do this, it’s going to take years
  4. (And by years, I mean 2 to 5, which sounds pretty short for a prison sentence but is a whole lot of voluntary torture)
  5. Conveniently forget that doing this will ultimately consume a part of my soul and that this kernel of an idea is going to be nothing like the end result
  6. Get excited again and write a few more pages
Ideas are not complete meals dropped off at the doorstep of your mind by GrubHub. They’re more like a backyard garden and slaughterhouse, and it’s all wildly DIY. Then, when you get into it, you realize you need something you don’t have (but you don’t know exactly what because then you could grow it in your magic garden), and you drive around the whole county, looking for it in every roadside produce stand and specialty market, thinking, “I’ll know it when I see it. It’s like this other thing but not really. I’ll know it when I see it.” And sometimes that’s true and sometimes you realize that the problem isn’t this missing thing but something further back and the despair creeps over you again before you push it down and get on with it.
All that to say that ideas are wonderful things, and if you have a great one, keep it to yourself. :)
AROUND THE NEXT CORNER
The virtual ink is still fresh on a signed contract for my next romance, tentatively titled Playing with Fire. The one exception to my ungrateful dread of new ideas are for romances, which, so far, have been a relatively straightforward pleasure to write. In romances, books generally follow a pattern set by the genre as well as whatever tropes you’re using in your story. As contradictory as it may seem, working within a structure makes some aspects of writing easier. Think of it like taking away some of the innumerable decisions we have to make about character, plot, setting, themes, etc. Or think of it like a gnarly math equation that starts with too many variables to solve but that turns possible if some of the variables become fixed.
Regardless, it was satisfying to write Playing with Fire, and I’m looking forward to sharing it with you all some time next year (after I’ve seen and revised it 3-4 more times, which will also revise my assertion of how pleasant it was to write).
Perhaps in a future newsletter, I’ll cover how difficult it always is for me to find titles for my work, but I can now say it’s even more challenging to find a name for a business. I began the process with high aspirations of what the name will inspire, but now I’ll settle for one I don’t hate that has a domain available. That said, I’m excited about this new venture, which marries storytelling with truth telling. Is there anything better? Stay tuned for more updates on this next month.
OUTSIDE OF DRAFTSVILLE
Partly because someone gave me a gift card to bookshop.org and partly because I’ve been mulling over revisiting and recasting a science fiction book I wrote in college that marries time travel and religion (talk about an idea that’s going to ask a lot of me), I read some SF books by bad-ass women/non-binary writers. One of them, The Future of Another Timeline by Annalee Newitz, is a punk-rock feminist manifesto where time travel and editing the timeline are key tools in the war against misogyny and the disenfranchisement of women. Plus, I love that part of it is set in Chicago during the 1893 world’s fair, which is rendered vividly from an often overlooked perspective.
As always, I’m still loving any ratings or reviews for my books. A simple click on a star even without a review blurb goes along way.
Upended: Kabak, Amanda: 9781948559577: Amazon.com: Books
Training for Love: Kabak, Amanda: 9781642473483: Books: Amazon.com
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Amanda Kabak

Writer of software and literature - Novels: UPENDED and THE MATHEMATICS OF CHANGE. Denizen of the in-between. In ardent pursuit of making an impact.

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